


Breathing

by LizzzBeth



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Keith has panic attacks, M/M, Panic Attacks, Space Gays, Vomit, Whump, actually puke happens, at first anyway, gross yeah i know, it's not graphic or anything just mentions it but still, klangst, lance is a sweet angel, lance is oblivious to feelings, shit happens, this kinda turns into a whump fic but oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 06:32:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10299767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LizzzBeth/pseuds/LizzzBeth
Summary: Lance helps Keith with his panic attacks and, as a result, their relationship grows into something more.~or~3 times that Lance calms Keith's panic attacks and 1 time Lance had his own; with relationship building sprinkled in. ;)





	

The first time that Lance noticed Keith’s panic attacks was after a long mission that almost knocked Hunk’s lion out of commission. 

They had gotten back to the castle and everyone was celebrating a job well done, including Lance. Actually no. Lance was celebrating most of all. In fact he had instigated the cheers and approving slaps on backs. When he noticed that Keith was still hanging back next to the comfort of Red, he went over.

“C’mon mullet head, I totally crushed your record for number of Galra ships taken out in one blast!” He took his arm to drag him over to the group, but paused. 

Keith’s breath was coming out fast and short, making him look paler than normal, and his eyes were blown wide. 

“You okay?” Lance asked, a bit worried. A break in his usual demeanor. When Keith didn’t answer Lance checked back over his shoulder and, seeing that the rest of the team were occupied and leaving the hangar, took Keith to the side.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Lance asked, worried. He’d seen his fair share of panic attacks so he knew what was going on. Who wouldn’t growing up with such a large family?

Keith was trying to take deeper breaths now but they still came out too fast.

“I- I don-“  He cut off as his face screwed up and a dry sob escaped, airy but still popping out from deep in his chest.

Lance quickly put his hands on Keith’s shoulders, trying to ground him in the moment, “Deep breaths- let it out. Talk when you want to, it’s fine,” he kept reassuring. But every time that Keith tried to take in a breath, a sob would come back out. Lance knew that Keith was trying not to break in front of him, which made sense. They were always bickering so much that it was uncomfortable just for Lance to see Keith like this, he couldn’t imagine being in Keith’s position right now.

Eventually, his breaths evened out and Lance cupped the back of his neck, “Do you want to talk now?” 

Keith nodded.

“Alright,” he said and brought Keith down to the ground, sitting cross legged in front of each other. 

Keith looked slightly embarrassed now but there were still flickers of panic in his eyes every few moments. He averted his gaze from Lance, “S-sorry. I didn’t mean t-to…” he trailed off.

Lance rushed, “No, no! It’s okay. Just- just tell me what’s going on. That’ll make you feel better, yeah?” Keith nodded again and took a deep breath.

“It’s just that- yeah we defend the Universe- we form Voltron and we fight the- what I’m trying to say- it’s just-“ Keith paused, frustrated and still panicky but Lance motioned for him to breathe in and out, which Keith did, and then continued, “It’s just… it never really occurred to me- really occurred to me- that…” he paused again, and Lance saw tears forming in his eyes. So Lance grabbed his arm reassuringly. A tear slipped out as Keith continued, “We can die up here, Lance!”

If he was being honest with himself, Lance had never given it too much thought either. Yeah, there were dangers and yeah he got knocked pretty bad by that blast he shielded Coran from a few months back, but there were always the healing pods. 

Lance didn’t know what to say so, not wanting to make things worse by saying the wrong thing, he kept quiet.

Keith spoke quietly this time, calmer and with more of his normal voice, “When Hunk got hit… I froze. The lights on his lion- th-they flickered and he wouldn’t respond on the coms. And, yeah, his lion has the strongest armor, but even being grazed by an ion blast… I thought-“

Lance grabbed Keith’s hand, silencing him in his rambling, “But Hunk is okay. We’re all okay,” he took Keith’s hand and placed it on his chest plate, which was moving up and down with Lance’s breath, “See? Nothing is wrong.”

Keith still looked unsure so Lance tried a different approach, lowering both of their hands to hold them in between the two Paladins where their knees touched.  
“We’re in space. We’re fighting a war. There are always going to be dangers. You’re right to be worried but nothing has happened. It’s more likely that nothing ever will happen.

“If you get panicked again, try breathing like this. Breathe in for 7 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds,” he demonstrated, and Keith followed suit.

Keith smiled as his heart rate eventually returned to normal and Lance smiled too, relieved that everything was calm now.

At the same time, they both looked down and realized that they were still holding hands and, at the same time, they both yanked their hands back and blushed deep red, laughing uncomfortably.

Lance got up first and extended a hand to Keith, which he took to lift himself to stand. Then they walked out of the hangar, letting their hands go one more time. And Lance could have sworn that Keith’s fingers lingered longer than usual, if only just for a second.

...

The second panic attack Lance saw was worse than the first. It was after Keith and Shiro made it back to the castle, all of the Paladins finally reunited after a harrowing escape from the Galra. Everyone was joking around for a brief while before returning to their normal routines. Everyone except Keith.

Which would have been normal except for the fact that Lance noticed how he hung back a bit and how it took him longer to change out of uniform, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.

Lance knew they were lucky before that no one came back to the hangar to check in on them. That probably would’ve made the attack rebound. But now, everyone was scattered throughout the castle. There was a chance of Keith’s panic attack escalating no matter where Lance pulled him to the side. 

So Lance caught his gaze from across the room in the lounge, holding it as Keith started to tear up again, visibly shaking. Lance shook his head and motioned for Keith to breathe in and out, like he told him before. Keith nodded and breathed with him for about a minute before his eyes blew wide again and he ran out of the room, tripping over his own feet. 

Lance cursed and thought to himself as he ran after him, “This boy is going to be the end of me.”

He chased him to the bathroom and slowed down to a walk as Keith darted in through the open door. He could hear the sounds of retching coming from inside immediately after so Lance peeked inside, only to see Keith crouched over the toilet, struggling to keep his hair out of the way as he heaved and shook from the panic in his system.

Lance went to stand behind him and combed his fingers through what he kept telling himself was a stupid mullet. He held it back in a ponytail while he rubbed circles on Keith’s back. Only when Keith seemed to calm down a bit did Lance leave him to wet a washcloth and hold it on the back of the other Paladin’s neck.

He could hear Hunk coming down the hallway and cursed to himself. Of course they couldn’t have thirty more minutes for Keith to calm down without everyone else seeing. Keith seemed to hear Hunk too and emptied some more of his stomach into the toilet, prompting Lance to scoop his hair back into a ponytail.

Hunk passed the open bathroom door and, for a second, Lance thought that he might not see and that he would keep walking. But he had stopped in the doorway with a worried look, “Hey-“

Lance cut him off with a slice in front of his throat and a motion for Hunk to leave. Hunk, taking the hint, quickly improvised and turned back down the hall, calling, “Hey Pidge, wanna make some cookies?”

Pidge called from far off in the castle, “And break a tooth again? Hell no!”

Lance chuckled but the sound must have aggravated Keith’s attack again. He started shivering, his nerves on edge and overstimulated from the puking. At least the heaving had stopped though.

Eventually, Keith slowly sat up, and Lance had to catch the wash rag as it fell off of his back. 

Keith’s face was clammy and sweaty and he looked downright exhausted. Lance would have suggested taking Keith to his room so that he could rest but he also knew that if you gave a panicking mind area to think it would keep panicking.

So he gave Keith the rag to wipe his mouth with and set him up to where he was leaning against the wall. Next to the toilet, of course. Lance didn’t want him puking all over the both of them.

They practiced breathing for a while (in for 7- hold for 4- out for 8; 7-4-8; 7-4-8) until Keith’s diaphragm slowed down. Then the tears started, silent at first but then developing into stifled sobs that echoed around the bathroom. The noise attracted Hunk again who silently mouthed through the open door, “Everything okay?” To which Lance gave a thumbs up and shooed him off.

Keith’s hands were shaking so bad that Lance just resolved to take the gloves off of them and rub some feeling back into the fingers. He placed each hand down on the cold tile when he was done with them, hoping that the cold feeling would anchor Keith and stop the shaking. 

God, he didn’t know what else to do. Every now and then Keith would look around, panicked again and start shaking and sobbing, and they would have to start the whole process over. 

Lance thought to himself, “When did I become so bad at this?”, because normally we would have his siblings calmed down in 30 minutes or so. But this had gone on for over an hour at this point. 

Finally, Keith found his voice.

“Th-anks,” he croaked as Lance finished rubbing his right hand again and placed it palm-down on the tile floor.

Lance smiled, relieved that the worst of it had seemed to pass. Now they just had to work through the aftershock. 

“No problem. Couldn’t have you puking in here all alone, that’s Hunk’s job,” He smiled and so did Keith a little bit.

Then after a pause, “I’m sorry.”

Lance looked at him confused, “What for? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yea-h. Yeah I did,” Keith sat up a little more but his breathing had picked up pace again, “I- I couldn’t make it around that c-curve in time. Pidge almo-almost got sliced, you almost got shot- _I almost got shot_ ,” Lance scooted next to Keith against the wall and put an arm around his shaking shoulders.

“But we didn’t. Pidge is alright. You heard her yell at Hunk earlier. She’s right as rain. And you made it there at just the right time. It was a shit-show, you know that. It’s not your fault, it’s just the whole damn situation. You. Didn’t. Do anything. Wrong.”

Then Keith did something Lance never thought he would ever do. Ever. In a million years.

He laid his head on Lance’s chest. 

Lance deadpanned at first, shocked by the sudden movement. But he chalked it up to exhaustion. And seeing as he couldn’t very well shrug Keith off, he did what he thought anyone would do in his situation.

Keith’s hair was surprisingly soft as Lance carded his fingers through it, gently working at the tangles and smoothing over a few bumps where Keith hit his head a little in battle. Keith shivered, but this time it wasn’t from panic. Lance knew something about how having another person touch your scalp releases endorphins. Maybe if he kept at it, Keith would feel better. So he did.

Lance felt his shirt stick to his skin where Keith’s tears landed on his stomach. And his stomach had butterflies for some reason. And those butterflies rose up to his throat where he found himself shushing the smaller, black-haired Paladin, and saying things like, “It’s okay,” Also, “just breathe,” And, 

“You’re safe now. I got you.”

Eventually Keith dozed off, his head now in Lance’s lap, and Lance let him stay like that until Hunk came back a third time, and offered to carry Keith to his room.

Lance shooed him away again.

...

When Keith had another panic attack, it was out of the blue. Nothing _seemed_ to have spurred it on, so Lance was confused when he heard a knock on his bedroom door and a broken, scared, and hesitant voice call out, “L-lance?”

He opened the door, speaking before seeing, “It’s the middle of the… night? I don’t know, space is weird. Anyway, what? You finally coming to grab a face mask?” He laughed but then paused when he saw Keith’s panic signs.

“N-nevermind. I… I should just-“ Keith stuttered out as made his way to leave. Lance immediately stopped him and took him inside before shutting the door.

Lance was hovering around him, checking him for injuries, “What happened? Did you go out on a lone mission? Did something get hurt? Did _someone_ get hurt? Is it because of the wormhole incident yesterday?” Rapid-fire questions kept shooting out as he poked and prodded, only stopping when Keith kept looking down, hunkered and shaking.

Lance slowed down and stooped a little in front of him to catch his eyes, “You know, we don’t have to talk,” he said, smiling softly. And Keith crumpled in on himself, sinking down in front of Lance, groaning in frustration and anger and sobs.

“I-it’s not that- that I don’t want to talk… bout it… God, I just- why… I-I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m s-sorry,” Keith had never looked so small as Lance crouched in front of him, a hand on his shoulder.

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Lance kept telling him, “ _I’m_ the one that’s sorry. I don’t want you to feel like this…” he trailed off, the only sound in the room being hiccups and shaky sobs.

Then he got an idea. Sparing a look behind him at his bed, Lance decided that it wasn’t too messy. So he rose Keith to his feet, led him to the bed and let him lay on it, scooting in after him. 

“W-wha-“ Keith started, confused.

“When my little brother would have panic attacks back home, he would come lay in my bed. It would make him feel better when he felt secure and not all out in the open…” Lance trailed, propping his head up on his elbow, “… is this okay?”

Keith took a second but then nodded when his face scrunched up again and he clutched at his chest and hair. Lance drew the blanket up around them but that didn’t last long as Keith soon knocked it off when a new wave of panic hit, causing him to scrunch up into a tighter ball.

After about 20 minutes, another idea struck Lance as Keith turned on to his stomach, still facing him. But the idea also gave him those stupid butterflies again. Would Keith even let him? It would make him feel better but still…

“H-hey Keith?”

The smaller boy looked up at him. The sobbing had stopped a while ago but he was still shaking, a bit drowsy now but unable to sleep.

“W-want me to tickle your back? That always seemed to help my brother.”

Keith didn’t even hesitate before nodding, shrugging off his jacket and lifting his shirt above his head, exposing his back to the cool air in the room.

Lance nervously took in the bare skin, hesitating. But he couldn’t really back out now, so he lifted his arm and gently drew his nails up and down Keith’s back.

Goosebumps immediately rose on Keith’s skin and the tension Lance could see in his back muscles slowly released. Pale white lines soon littered the Red Paladin’s back as Lance kept at it, lightly ghosting his fingertips along the dip in his spine and the outline of his shoulder blades, still quaking every now and then with a left over hiccup or shiver.

Lance had been so preoccupied with watching his fingers work that he didn’t notice Keith’s eyes trained on his face. Keith’s tears had stopped and salt lines had dried themselves on the bridge of his nose. _Good,_ thought Lance, _at least he’s getting some sort of purifying mineral on his poor face, even if it is already beatifu- what who said that?_

Keith dozed off to the sensation of caresses and goosebumps and when Lance stopped, pulling the Red Paladin's shirt back down, Keith snuggled into the pillow right in front of Lance’s face, brushing their noses together for a second. Lance paused, unsure of what to do, but when he saw Keith’s breathing hitch fearfully in his sleep, Lance instinctually gathered him against his chest, Keith’s head now tucked under Lance’s chin. He once again drew the blanket back up over the both of them, setting himself in for the night, ignoring his butterflies as he looked at Keith’s now peaceful frame and closed his own eyes.

Lance drifted off, debating the standing between the two of them now. 

They were friends now, most definitely. He never thought he would be this close to Keith. 

Literally. They were under the same covers and freaking _cuddling_. But maybe that was okay. At least they weren’t actually rivals anymore.

After all, a rival doesn’t tickle the other’s back until they fall asleep in the same bed, now do they?

...

Keith had grown so used to going to Lance whenever an attack hit that it became almost like second nature to him. Usually, no one could calm his panic. The last person to actually successfully help was his dad, but that was a long time ago. So when Lance had actually helped him calm down numerous times, Keith was surprised, but also grateful. Now, of course he didn’t want to impose. Some panic attacks were small enough to deal with on his own, no matter how painful they were in his chest. But then when a big one hit, he always found himself heading towards Lance.

It was weird for Keith, being so close to someone all of a sudden. Lance had declared them rivals, hadn’t he? So why was he the only one who seemed to be able to help?

The breathing exercise helped tremendously- better, even, than all of the things he had tried previously.

The first time he broke in front of Lance, he was downright embarrassed, but it was a bad one. Not as bad as they can get but still bad enough to where his uneven breathing was noticed by the Blue Paladin. No matter how awkward that first experience was, though, Lance never teased him about it.

Then whenever he had the really bad attack that made him puke, he thought Lance would turn heel and run. It was disgusting. All panic attacks are, but _puking?!_

Keith would’ve rather been shot out into space than to have someone see one of the monster attacks. Those ones that ripped up your diaphragm with a chemical cocktail of fear and numbness. Those ones where, no matter how hard you tried, the tremors wouldn’t stop. Those ones that made you empty your insides until you were just as hollow as you felt, one pressure point away from imploding.

But Lance had stayed again. For however many hours Keith was suffering on that bathroom floor, Lance was right there behind him, pulling his hair back, placing cool wash cloths on his neck, and shooing away unwanted guests. 

Lance thought he wouldn’t notice.

And then Lance took it a step further and helped Keith’s body calm down after his mind had run its course, rubbing his fingers (something Keith had never even thought about trying to do but that actually worked pretty well) and sitting next to him, validating what he felt and then comforting him nevertheless. He had even let Keith fall asleep on his chest, sitting against the rough wall next to a _toilet_. Who even does that? Keith was sure that Lance would’ve shrugged him off when he started crying again, but then Lance did something that Keith thought that he would never do. Ever. In a million years.

Lance said that he was safe. That he had him.

Remarkably, it worked, and Keith found himself too exhausted to sit back up. He sunk down to rest his head in Lance’s lap and fell asleep faster than he had in months.

Then there was the night just a few weeks ago. Keith had been struggling with the information he learned from the Galran resistance. Could he be Galra? Even partially? He probably was. Most likely. Did that make him evil? What was he even doing in Voltron? Putting everyone in danger, that’s what he was doing.

Keith recognized the destructive train of thought and the splash of what felt like whiskey in his lungs as he looked out of the long window in the hall, space spread out in front of him. Maybe getting shot out into space wasn’t such a bad idea.

Okay, that scared him. He never had self-destructive thoughts. What the hell was his brain doing to him?!

As the panic flared in his chest he found his feet walking- running- no, sprinting to Lance’s room. He was probably asleep. He probably didn’t want to deal with this. He would probably yell at Keith to suck it up, to go back to bed. He would probably tell him he was tired of helping him.

Keith blocked all of this out of his head when he reached the door and knocked, calling out for Lance- for somebody- for help.

The door opened, and Lance’s initial usual smart-ass comment, while harmless, made Keith want to turn tail and run. He couldn't keep doing this to Lance, could he? But Lance seemed to understand what was happening, and dragged him inside, fussing over him like a mother hen. Keith was glad for it. He was safe. Lance had him.

To be honest, he didn’t remember getting into the bed until Lance was next to him, shielding him from the outside. He was a bit worried at first but when a new wave of unwanted tears hit, he conceded. This was alright. He was safe. Lance had him.

He was exhausted, and Lance was tickling his back, a sensation that was so relaxing that Keith could’ve melted right through the mattress. He watched Lance’s face as Lance studied his back. He was safe. Lance had him.

Keith realized that there was never actually hate between them. Sure, Lance was annoying and loud on top of that. But he was actually kind and caring. They were friends. Keith let out the tension in his muscles at this realization and Lance caught his gaze right as he closed his eyes.

Maybe they were more than friends. Best friends? No that didn’t fit. They still bickered outside of- whatever _this_ was. They still teased and prodded at each other. But there wasn’t actually any heart in it, just funny words for the moments away from their real moments.

Keith was close to Shiro from before, but Shiro’s memory was half gone now. And Shiro had never been able to calm Keith down all the way. No, that was reserved for Lance. 

 

When they both woke the next morning, tangled in each other’s arms, Keith decided that, other than Shiro, he was closer to Lance than anyone else on the ship.

Maybe closer than anyone else in the Universe.

...

Over the next few weeks, the times that Keith and Lance spent together grew in frequency and the panic attacks became less and less horrible. Or maybe more and more bearable. Either way, they were both happy.

Not every time they found themselves alone was due to one of Keith’s attacks, but, after a while, every time an attack was spurred on, Keith went to Lance. And Lance didn’t mind. He felt useful and, while he hated every time Keith became too panicked to breathe, Lance enjoyed the fact that he was the one that Keith could breathe around. 

They became best friends slowly but surely. The bickering didn’t stop but merely morphed into a constant playful banter. The other paladins didn’t mind one bit. In fact, they were relieved in the change of pace between the two.

When they decided to try the whole ‘boyfriend’ label, Pidge had to pass five bucks to Hunk. They had run a bet on how long it would take. Hunk gave them two months, Pidge suggested five, and Lance called them both traitors while everyone else, including Keith, laughed.

They were happy. Or at least as happy as two could get stuck in a giant castle, floating in space, flying giant metal cats in order to defeat a giant alien cat from taking over the universe. So, the circumstances behind their relationship were kinda fucked but beggars can’t be choosers. 

The team dynamic changed for the better. They fought better. Communicated better. Slept better (who wouldn’t with constant cuddle partners) (wait, no, scratch that, Lance’s midnight farts sometimes made Keith want to die but such is the price of love). Everything was great.

And Keith found it just that much easier to breathe knowing he always had someone on his side.

...

A mission gone wrong was what caused Lance to have his panic attack.

A mission gone horribly, horribly wrong.

It started out as a simple reconnaissance mission with some rebel forces on the outskirts of a Galra-controlled Galaxy. 

The planet the team was going to was simple enough. Earth-like. Breathable Atmosphere. And natives that were on the fighting side of the war. More specifically, on _their_ fighting side of the war.

Allura wanted to meet with the leader of the rebels in order to orchestrate an attack on a nearby Galran asteroid base and to offer help wherever Voltron could. She and Shiro had gone down to the planet’s surface as the rest of the paladins patrolled the upper atmosphere, Coran keeping the castle up in orbit hidden behind the planet’s moon, should the Galra make a surprise visit.

Which, with luck obviously not on their side, is what happened.

As Lance had so eloquently put it before, it was a shit-show. 

Pidge was dodging heavy enemy fire as she dived down to the surface to cover Shiro and Allura. Hunk was plowing his way through Galran carrier vessels. Lance was shooting into a seemingly endless fleet, diving this way and that. And Keith was slicing up the main warship as much as he could, trying to divert fire away from the planet and away from its inhabitants.

They were kicking ass, as per norm, and Lance thought that they might actually make it out of the solar system unscathed. But then he heard his abuelita’s voice scolding him, telling him to knock on wood as he saw the ion canon on the warship aim at the Red Lion currently scuffing its fuel block.

“Keith! Get out of there! That canon looks a little too eager to meet you,” He yelled into the coms.

 

Keith, meanwhile, was having the time of his life. This is what he was built for. He was tearing this way and that, spilling the warship’s contents out into the vacuum of space, tripping every alarm he could and then winding his way through the oncoming firefight.

When he heard Lance scream his name, he looked up just in time to get out of the way of the purple-hot blast. Breathing a sigh of relief alongside the rest of the team, he geared up to tear away the ion canon, when something hit the side of his lion, knocking him off balance.

Whipping around, he saw a group of Galran fighter ships who had all taken aim and blasted him at once. He could feel Red groan under the hit, could feel the sting she felt. But it wasn’t a bad hit.

Then he felt a buzzing. The hairs on his arms and the back of his neck stood on end. He was reminded of what his dad would tell him about lightning, about static electricity. Keith turned his lion just in time to see the ion blast ripping towards him, not really feeling the impact before everything went black.

 

"NO!" Lance screamed as the ion canon blazed hot and he tried to get his lion over to Keith, but there were too many- too many ships to get through. He shot through some, tossing the rest over to Hunk who crushed them with his lion’s jaws.

He dashed as fast as he could. But the Red lion was falling- falling down to the planet below, light’s out and limp. Lance never thought a machine could go limp. He worried for the living being inside. _His_ living being. _He’s alive. He’s alive. He has to be._

“Keith! Answer me, buddy!” Lance yelled through the coms with the others as he twisted into a nosedive after him.

Silence.

_He’s alive. He’s alive. He has to be._

More laser shots seemed to rain down after him but Shiro soon blocked it with his lion, yelling for Lance to go.

Pidge was diving alongside Lance, taking out any ships that entered the atmosphere after them. She was also yelling for Keith to respond. 

Silence.

Hunk was busy wiping out the warship. Large yellow blasts littered the surface of the purple machinery. 

Lance continued to dive, getting closer and closer to Keith’s lion, the ground coming up too fast- too fast. 

Finally, he latched Blue’s jaws around Red’s tail and lifted up as hard as he could, yelling with the effort it took both him and the ship, the ground just meters away. 

Lance landed Blue above Red, shielding the unresponsive lion with his own, and darted out of the cockpit, throwing himself outside onto Red’s jaw. It was slack enough that he could squeeze through. He felt nothing coming from the machine. It was eerily quiet.

Taking out his bayard, he shot the panel of the cockpit door and yanked as hard as he could to force it open.

He wasn’t prepared for what waited for him when he did.

Keith wasn’t in the pilot seat. No, he was slammed against the wall that currently acted as the floor, given that Red was on her side. His helmet had been knocked off and Lance didn’t bother to see where it was. Keith’s head was bloody on the side and a small pool of red was forming under the black fabric of his waist. 

Lance was frozen for a moment, taking in the listless, broken form before him. The sound of a blast from outside snapped him out of it and he ran to his boyfriend’s side.

“K-keith!” He called, not too loud. He knew how head injuries made loud sounds hell.

Silence.

Lance could hear the others asking for Keith’s status over the coms but he couldn’t actually hear them. He sat beside Keith and gently lifted the limp boy into his arms, cradling him in his lap. Keith’s head lolled lifeless to the side. It was so unlike that time on the bathroom floor but Lance flashed back to it anyway.

Silence.

At first, Lance didn’t know what the feeling was inside of him. A burning- no, a _ripping_ sensation tore through his heart- lungs- entire being? It didn’t matter. He was on fire, he couldn’t breathe. His voice breaking, he gently called, “Keith?”

Silence.

The coms lit up though. He could hear Pidge saying that she couldn’t land but that she was covering them from the sky. Hunk had blown up the warship. Shiro was asking what Keith was doing.

But Keith wasn’t doing anything. 

Lance yanked off his helmet and pressed his ear to Keith’s nose.

Breathing. Yes, Lance felt shallow breaths against his face and saw Keith’s chest was moving. 1-1-1; 1-1-1; 1-1-1. Not enough seconds for each breath.

But he still wasn’t responding. Lance had to snap himself out of it again, placing his hand on the side of Keith’s face, running his fingers through the black tangles, smoothing over the bleeding gash on Keith’s head. He pressed their foreheads together.

“Keith. Please, don’t do this to me,” he said, quietly, voice cracking. The pain ripping through his chest so unrelenting that normal volume speech seemed impossible. Was this what Keith went through on a normal basis? No. Lance wasn’t having a panic attack, was he? He was just so scared- terrified- petrified.

Lance felt tears trailing down his cheeks and dripping off of his chin. This couldn’t happen. It was just a stupid recon mission. They weren’t supposed to fight today. If Lance had just warned him better. If it were Lance taking on the warship instead. If it were only Lance and not Keith. Why did it have to be Keith? Why-why-why?

Silence.

 

Keith’s breathing stopped.

 

Along with it, Lance’s heart stopped and he sobbed harder, studying Keith’s features for something- a sign of anything. 

The blood leaking out from under the black part of Keith’s armor seemed to have stopped, too. But there was still so much red. Too much red. Even for Keith.

 

But then Keith stirred, gasping air into his lungs, and opened his eyes a tiny bit, a break of Indigo in the sea of red. Lance’s own breath hitched and his tears stopped mid-sob.

“O-ouch,” Keith muttered almost inaudibly.

Lance breathily laughed, smiling, “H-hey there,” he whispered.

“Hi,” Breathed Keith, cringing as something pinched inside of him.

Face scrunching up, Lance buried his face in Keith’s neck. Shaking and still sobbing, but now with total blissful _relief._

But there was still that grip on his heart. Everything had gone wrong. So so wrong. He almost lost Keith. Hyperventilation set in and Lance gripped Keith tighter until a hand came up and stroked his hair.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here. We’re safe. You got me,” Keith shushed. Lance recognized the gesture as one he would do for Keith during his panic attacks. Was that what he was having? How selfish of him, Keith was the one that almost-

He couldn’t finish the thought as he caught a glimpse of the sticky red coating his boyfriend’s side, and his heart clenched again. Lance was being selfish, he knew. But Keith comforted him all the same, when it should be the opposite way around. It should always be the opposite way around.

“Y-you weren’t waking up. I-I thought…” 

“No, no. I’m…” he took in a shuddering breath, “…I’m good. A little ion c-canon can’t get me,” Keith chuckled, kissing Lance’s temple, turning the thrumming in his chest down to a low hum.

The ion canon. The battle. Suddenly the muffled worried voices of the team coming through the coms on his helmet came into Lance’s focus.

He snapped up and reached for the helmet, talking through the coms without putting it on, “He’s awake guys, but we’re going to need a healing pod on the ship. Are you guys good?”

“Oh thank God!” sighed Pidge.

Hunk yelled, “Hell yeah, we’re good! We beat those guys to smithereens!”

Allura breathed a sigh of relief and Coran affirmed that he would have the med bay up and running when they got back.

“Do you need Black to give Red a lift?” asked Shiro.

Keith answered before Lance, pained with every breath, “Y-yeah, I think so… I-I can’t feel her,” then he laughed a little, a sound that made Lance a little more at ease, “She may be a little more banged up than me.”

Shiro laughed too, relieved that Keith felt well enough to joke, “Alright then. Lance, you stay with him. Blue can fly herself back.”

As if Lance were going anywhere. 

They felt Red lift up a minute later and Lance pulled Keith closer to his chest. Keith’s helmet rolled next to them so Lance slid it on Keith’s head, mindful of the bleeding concussed area, before pulling on his own, activating the full face visors on both.

Before long, they were in the hangars, and Lance carried Keith out of the lion and wouldn’t let go of him until they made it to the cryopods. 

The panic finally released from Lance’s system when, a full day and a half later, Keith stumbled out into his arms.

Keith was safe. Lance had him.

Lance was safe. Keith had him.

They were safe because they had each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Here ya go! My first official fic!! (We're just gonna go ahead and ignore my high school Rise of the Guardians phase and any/all fan-work that came with that).  
> This mainly started out as a practice fic because Lawdy Lawdy I NEED to practice more of my one on one writing.  
> I feel like I say their names too much when I write in third person... if anyone has any tricks to fix this, please tell me<3  
> Anywho, I hope y'all enjoy this!
> 
> BTW, if you're thinking "Whoa, hey, I read this exact same thing on Tumblr!" Well then you would be right! At the time I was waiting for an AO3 invitation and couldn't wait to post it so I just slapped it onto Tumblr. But now it's here on the good ol' AO3 and I edited it a bit for grammar issues.  
> My tumblr is Cheater157 but heed my warning when I say.... it's a mess.... a huge jumble of content.... I mean, pfft, what even are sideblogs hahahahahaa.... my life is a mess.


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